31.7.12

I've Watched The Dark Knight Rises

And The Dark Knight was way better.

Seriously. 

It's not that I hate the movie, but it just wasn't great. It was good. But for a sequel of The Dark Knight, being good just doesn't cut it.
What bothered me the most about the movie was the holes in the story. 
Like: where the effin eff is that stupid well of a prison located? Seriously. How did Batman managed to get to Gotham from that well in a matter of hours? HOW? 
He did't have his flying bat thing-y, he didn't have his passport with him, he didn't have any money with him, I mean come on now.  HOW? HOW?
If you tell me that the prison located somewhere near Gotham, I'm gonna punch you because that just not fuckin' believable. 
Secondly how deep is that prison? I don't know, I guess, like, VERY. But still, that old little tv could get the international-live tv news. And I'm supposed to believe this while I live on the 18th floor of a 21 stories apartment and can't get a decent phone signals?
Plus, why and who are the people in that prison? Why are there a doctor and a chiropractor there? And where do they get their food from?? Why are those men so bulky and healthy and ripped and strong with muscles that could shamed Arnold Schwarzenegger? Do they have a secret prison gang that sell L-men and weight gain? Is the prison actually a super extreme gym?? Kindly please explain this to me. Gaahhh.....

Now Bane. He has that muzzle over his mouth 24/7. Right? Right. How the fuck does he eat with that thing?? HOW? I don't see any IV drip, or whatever. He can't just survived on morphine alone. How does he drinks? or have sex? Is that why he's so full of rage and hate? Because judging from his action, that man seriously needs to get laid. Like big time. By Miranda Tate.
Oh, talking about getting laid by Miranda Tate, when she came to Bruce's house and then they had sex, it was the first time Bruce had sex in 8 years, right? Dude, there is no way a guy who hadn't had sex for 8 years would be that patient and gentle.

Can we talk about that super evil business man at the beginning, who gave financial support to Bane? What's up with that guy? It seems like he's just a tool to explain how Bane could afford the team to blow up the stadium and to steal Batman toys. They couldn't gave him a more meaningful back story or motives or character? He's just too two dimensional and tacky. And then they just killed him. It's like "Hey stupid, thanks for the money. ciao!" and snap.

Then Alfred. What's up dude? Why did you have to quit? Why? Why??? Do you honestly, naively believe that Bruce Wayne would just quit being batman and get married and have kids? He's batman. He doesn't want a wife. He wants an adolescent boy to live in his manor and fight crime with him in a skimpy red-green-yellow outfit. Capisce?

And I just couldn't wrap my head over the idea that Bane was in love with young Miranda Tate.
Duuddee... pedo alert!!

And now, I'm picturing bane as the pedobear. and couldn't stop giggling.

Plus, there was this girl who sat right next to me at the theater, and when Batman was about to take the nuclear bomb into the ocean, she said "Oh, dear, all of the fishes would die"

All in all. It was a good movie. It just wasn't great.

Here's a picture of pedobear to brighten up yo day.


5 comments:

  1. Hello! I just came across your blog, and wanted to drop and comment and say hi. And I agree with you up there, TDKR just doesn't cut it. Extra point for pointing out that he doesn't want to get married and wants to live with Robin happily ever after instead.

    (Hope I don't come across like a creeper)

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  2. Helloy there :D

    haha, but the image of christian bale get it on with JGL is somehow .... not disturbing.

    *now I'm hoping I don't come across like a creeper

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  3. I just saw The Dark Night Rises last night and I thought it was very good. I don't know if it's because I already set my expectation low considering how awesome The Dark Night was, or because I'm a sucker of great production, visual design, effects etc. I agree there are some unconvincing details in the story. Mine was, I highly doubt that the plane could hang in that position without dropping the bigger one (first scene). But there will be always ridiculous details in these kinds of films, don't you think??

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  4. What bothers me the most was the end.how Bane cried after Miranda tate made that speech. it overrided the premise that Bane only wanted to give the power back to the people and it bellitled his previous good speeches about the state of society.
    *seddaaap

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  5. Fair enough. I still enjoyed it though. ;)

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