14.12.12

Consent Consent Consent

I heard a strange story the other night, and it got me thinking, at what age do we stop needing our parents approval on everything and just live our lives the way we want to?

I'm 27. My parents are still very fussy over my fashion choice. They will complaint, and bicker, and just annoy the living hell out of me every time I wear something they deemed "weird" "inappropriate" "too edgy" "ugly" "outdated" "old-womanly" etc.

and that's just the little thing. I'm an adult, right? I live on my own, I have a job, I pay my own bill. But there's just no way in hell I could come up to my mom and said "Mom, do you know why I never pray anymore? Or why I never fast during Ramadhan? Or why I think everyone should just let everyone be, and there's no such a thing as "the most righteous religion"? The answer would be, because I'm an atheist mom. You got that right!"

I would just nod along to my mom preaching about religion and what not.

Luckily my mom is effin' cool about marriage and children. I've told her a hundred times that I do not ever want to get marry or have kids. The reasons are:
1. Marriage is a big deal. I am not a commitment kinda gal, and I do not like the idea of being tie down.
2. Kids? Mom, I believe that I will stay a kid until I'm in my sixties. So, I have no business raising kids.

And my mom said "Okay, whatever." I have a feeling she wanted to add "See if I care" too, but managed to hold back at the last minute.

What was my point again? Oh yeah, parents' consents. Do we ever stop looking for it?
Or do we need their blessing and approval till the very end? Do we need to keep everything that we hold dear but we know would break our parents' hearts as secrets?

I know, I know, we're very big on "berbakti pada orang tua" but what does it actually mean?
Aren't taking care of yourself and not being a dick and basically functioning well as a member of society enough?
It's up there at the top: "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
I always wonder when a parent says his kid's gayness is breaking his heart. Well dude, you're breaking your son's heart by not letting him love whomever he loves!
Or when a parent said "Aren't you afraid/scared/sad that you will send your parents straight to hell?"
Well, honey dear, I do not believe in hell, so I guess, no?

I'm not saying anything bad about my parents here, it's just that, it amazes me how fully grown adult still have to hide perfectly okay things from their parents because they're afraid they wouldn't be happy about it.

Oh well, such is life.
(that's my line for the end of every story)

2 comments:

  1. kukasih tau mama kau yaaa,,, tak beragama juga kau rupanya..

    ReplyDelete