It's... restless-ness. You don't feel at ease. You feel like there's something missing, always something missing.
So you fill it with something. Food, bags, clothes, alcohol, sex, men's adoration, or the thrill of a chase. You need to fill it with something.
This nagging feeling, these noises, this hunger for things you don't understand.
So you try to muffled the voices. With white noises, music, the sound of your voice, conversations.
You try to lure your brain into feeling complete by reading things, all the time. Or writing, a journal, a blog, a piece of paper, the blank space in your mind, the hundreds and thousands of whatsapp texts.
You try to divert your attention to something else. Men, projects, house cleaning.
Maybe seriously take a break this time? From everything. Just stay at home, or wander around the city alone. Stop texting people. Find a new hobby.
Maybe seriously try this time.